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Sometimes you need to do a bit of basic maintenence, and there is no one around and no one to call. You can sit around in frustration, or you can Do-it-Yourself. Rather satisfying, if done correctly. The art to successful DIY is having the right tools for the job. The correct tool for the correct […]

The post Adventures In DIY: The Single Gal’s Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3868) "

Sometimes you need to do a bit of basic maintenence, and there is no one around and no one to call. You can sit around in frustration, or you can Do-it-Yourself. Rather satisfying, if done correctly.

The art to successful DIY is having the right tools for the job. The correct tool for the correct job makes life so much easier. Sometimes you need a delicate little tool for fine work, sometimes a whacking great hammer to get the job done right.

I am, of course, talking about sex toys. What did you think I was on about? Putting up shelves? Anyone can do that! (Link provided for those who actually can’t put up a shelf, so don’t say we never do anything for you.)

Oh, your reading came to a screeching halt right there, eh? There is a downside to living in a culture that thinks it is somehow wrong for women to enjoy sex, and where even experienced trial lawyers get the giggles when exposed to vibrators.

That downside is, if your hands won’t do, you don’t get done. Not acceptable, certainly not now.

Sure, I am not telling you to head to Northwestern University’s human sexuality class and a possible morals charge, just to find out what works for you, but an entire subclass of questions we get here involve sex:
“He can’t get me off.” “I am not sure if I am ready for X.” “I am a bit small down there.” “Would I like anal?” “I haven’t been with a guy for a while, will it heal up?” (The last one is a submitted question from a couple of months back – I facepalmed hard enough to give myself concussion.)

The poor guy/gal is not a mind reader! If YOU do not know what you like and what works for you, then why, and more importantly HOW, should (s)he! 

Are you a slow, gentle stimulation type, or do you really prefer fast penetrative sex? Does penetration actually do anything for you at all (It frequently doesn’t)? What exact angle makes you go screaming into orbit and what angles are uncomfortable? How big is big enough? All questions that you should know the answers to, cause your partner is going to want to know.

While it can be a lot of fun to experiment with styles and positions with your partner, it can also be embarassing, frustrating and sometimes downright painful too. That is where DIY comes in. Learning your own body and reactions in a relaxed, no stress way makes teaching your partner how to set off the fireworks a total joy.

As to what you should use, there are thousands of advice sites out there, and tens of thousands willing to sell you any type of coyly named toy you can imagine and a fair number you can’t (or don’t want to). The choice is immense and is, my dear, entirely up to you. A guy never gives advice about or borrows another’s tools.

I was going to do a nicely satirical, sexist and highly misogynistic piece on actual DIY and women, but this was much more fun – maybe next time.

The post Adventures In DIY: The Single Gal’s Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(583) "

Sometimes you need to do a bit of basic maintenence, and there is no one around and no one to call. You can sit around in frustration, or you can Do-it-Yourself. Rather satisfying, if done correctly. The art to successful DIY is having the right tools for the job. The correct tool for the correct […]

The post Adventures In DIY: The Single Gal’s Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3868) "

Sometimes you need to do a bit of basic maintenence, and there is no one around and no one to call. You can sit around in frustration, or you can Do-it-Yourself. Rather satisfying, if done correctly.

The art to successful DIY is having the right tools for the job. The correct tool for the correct job makes life so much easier. Sometimes you need a delicate little tool for fine work, sometimes a whacking great hammer to get the job done right.

I am, of course, talking about sex toys. What did you think I was on about? Putting up shelves? Anyone can do that! (Link provided for those who actually can’t put up a shelf, so don’t say we never do anything for you.)

Oh, your reading came to a screeching halt right there, eh? There is a downside to living in a culture that thinks it is somehow wrong for women to enjoy sex, and where even experienced trial lawyers get the giggles when exposed to vibrators.

That downside is, if your hands won’t do, you don’t get done. Not acceptable, certainly not now.

Sure, I am not telling you to head to Northwestern University’s human sexuality class and a possible morals charge, just to find out what works for you, but an entire subclass of questions we get here involve sex:
“He can’t get me off.” “I am not sure if I am ready for X.” “I am a bit small down there.” “Would I like anal?” “I haven’t been with a guy for a while, will it heal up?” (The last one is a submitted question from a couple of months back – I facepalmed hard enough to give myself concussion.)

The poor guy/gal is not a mind reader! If YOU do not know what you like and what works for you, then why, and more importantly HOW, should (s)he! 

Are you a slow, gentle stimulation type, or do you really prefer fast penetrative sex? Does penetration actually do anything for you at all (It frequently doesn’t)? What exact angle makes you go screaming into orbit and what angles are uncomfortable? How big is big enough? All questions that you should know the answers to, cause your partner is going to want to know.

While it can be a lot of fun to experiment with styles and positions with your partner, it can also be embarassing, frustrating and sometimes downright painful too. That is where DIY comes in. Learning your own body and reactions in a relaxed, no stress way makes teaching your partner how to set off the fireworks a total joy.

As to what you should use, there are thousands of advice sites out there, and tens of thousands willing to sell you any type of coyly named toy you can imagine and a fair number you can’t (or don’t want to). The choice is immense and is, my dear, entirely up to you. A guy never gives advice about or borrows another’s tools.

I was going to do a nicely satirical, sexist and highly misogynistic piece on actual DIY and women, but this was much more fun – maybe next time.

The post Adventures In DIY: The Single Gal’s Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575565256) } [1]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(64) "A Girl’s Guide to Gaming: The Basics on Becoming a Video Gamer" ["link"]=> string(99) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/a-girls-guide-to-gaming-the-basics-on-becoming-a-video-gamer/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 15:59:37 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(53) "HolidaysInterestingfungamesguidelifestylevideo gaming" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3744" ["description"]=> string(619) "

Remember when video games were just for boys and finding a girl gamer was like seeing a unicorn running in the woods? Well I’m happy to say times have changed video games aren’t just for the boys and now more than ever women are starting to leave their mark on the gaming world. I’ve loved […]

The post A Girl’s Guide to Gaming: The Basics on Becoming a Video Gamer appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7907) "

Remember when video games were just for boys and finding a girl gamer was like seeing a unicorn running in the woods? Well I’m happy to say times have changed video games aren’t just for the boys and now more than ever women are starting to leave their mark on the gaming world. I’ve loved video games since I was a little girl. Classics like Super Mario Bros. Mortal Kombat and Donkey Kong kept me occupied when friends weren’t around and with advancements in technology I’ve fallen back in love with the art of gaming. There’s just something about entering a new world, having an objective and seeing it through that’s so satisfying. It may be silly but it’s fulfilling and there’s nothing like the rush of beating someone’s high score. When real life feels like a constant battle it’s nice to jump in a game and win a war.

It doesn’t matter if your gaming experience stops with Angry Birds and Candy Crush you can become a girl gamer and start playing with the big dogs. Trust me, your boyfriend will love it and you can piss off all those people that say girls only like shopping and fashion. I’ve put together this little guide to help you on your journey, get you prepared and with some practice maybe you’ll be the next high score I’m gunning for.

It’s Time to Play!

Know Your Stuff

You can’t jump into the gaming world without at least knowing some of the basics, trust me you’ll be eaten alive. First things first, if you don’t have one already you’ll need to invest in a gaming console, they aren’t cheap so be prepared to spend some serious cash. Xbox, PlayStation, and Nintendo U, everyone’s got their favorites and as you start to play more games you’ll find your own preference but for any serious gamer Xbox and PlayStation are the main contenders. If you don’t want to rush in and buy one don’t worry about it, I’m sure someone around you has one of the two, so take some time and try them out before you make a purchase.

If you’re a novice gamer it’s easy to assume all video games are the same, never and I mean never say that again. There are different genres of video games just like movies and once you find your niche finding new games becomes much easier. There are literally tons of different titles so instead of writing a novel length description I’ve provided a little chart below peep it:

The list could go on but when you first jump into the gaming world these are the types of games you’ll probably encounter. Don’t feel pressure to get the most popular game, find something that relates to your interests. If you don’t like gory violent stuff don’t spend 60 dollars on a war game, you’ll only hate it and give up playing. Take some time playing the single player and training options and get comfortable with the controls and interface. Nothing is more frustrating than dying because you don’t know what button to push.

Once you get into the swing of gaming you’ll start to find your favorites, you may even find you only like one game, that’s fine. Being a girl gamer doesn’t mean you have to master everything. As you become more comfortable playing you’ll want to check out the online features, they’re awesome and I encourage you to jump in, but this wouldn’t be an accurate guide if I didn’t warn you.

Prepare for the Haters and Creepers

Almost every game has an online multi-player option allowing you to connect and compete against players from all over the world. Each game has a little community, and it really is amazing, and I suggest you take advantage of it, just brace yourself. Gaming is still a male dominated world and most of that world is dominated by pre-pubescent boys that love to bash and talk shit, so don’t let that put you off. Comments like “you’re good for a girl” and “you must be a fat ugly loser” are very common. Let’s face it, men have a hard time when woman are better at anything, video games are no different. The best way to handle negative comments are to ignore them. You don’t have to play online with the headset, I leave mine off and let my playing do the talking. I mean really who gives a shit what some tween in Idaho says about your score. Eventually they’ll shut up, realize they’re not getting any attention, and fade back into basement they popped out of.

When you’re not dealing with the angry trolls you’re bound to encounter the creepers. They’ll ask for pictures, leave inappropriate messages and sometimes send pictures. Don’t ever open them, you can’t erase those images, believe me I’ve tried. Girl gamers have to deal with a lot of stereotypes, too. You’re either a monster with no friends or sitting at home in panties and fan gear just waiting for the perfect gamer guy. It’s sad but not at all surprising. As a girl gamer I suggest you treat the gaming community like any other internet tool and use caution.

Set Ego Aside

Anytime you start a new hobby you want to be the best but that doesn’t happen overnight. I’m extremely competitive with myself and if I get stuck on a level I get frustrated and tend to scream at the TV screen. When I started out I wouldn’t allow anyone to help me, everything was about the win and I didn’t want someone else to take credit. I was crazy, but you don’t have to be, so set ego and pride aside and ask for help when you need it. If your boyfriend plays have him teach you some tricks, he’ll be excited to show you what he loves and you can make a really fun date night out of it. It’s a hobby and getting into gaming should be for fun so take it or yourself too seriously. Beating yourself up for having to repeat a level is silly, I’ve never met anyone who excelled immediately. Remember everything takes time and practice be patient and before you know it you’ll be teaching one of your friends.

Keep it in Control

Once you get into a game and start excelling it can be hard to put it down. Don’t spend all your free time sitting in front of the screen, make sure you take breaks and check back in with reality. Gaming should never become an obsession and if your eyes start to turn red and burn, it’s time to put it down. I’m no different, I’ve been a girl gamer for a few years now and when I get a new game the only thing on my mind is beating it. It’s a sickness that stems from my crazy competitive nature, but I manage it. Whether you’re new or veteran girl gamer, it’s important to manage your time and set limits. You don’t want to turn into a couch potato and lose touch with the real people in your life.  Go outside, run in a field, stare at some butterflies and then come back and whoop some ass.

Now that you’ve got the basics on becoming a girl gamer it’s time to get to your local game store and pick out your new addiction. Treat yourself and indulge in some fun, who knows you might even make a career of it!

 

The post A Girl’s Guide to Gaming: The Basics on Becoming a Video Gamer appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(619) "

Remember when video games were just for boys and finding a girl gamer was like seeing a unicorn running in the woods? Well I’m happy to say times have changed video games aren’t just for the boys and now more than ever women are starting to leave their mark on the gaming world. I’ve loved […]

The post A Girl’s Guide to Gaming: The Basics on Becoming a Video Gamer appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7907) "

Remember when video games were just for boys and finding a girl gamer was like seeing a unicorn running in the woods? Well I’m happy to say times have changed video games aren’t just for the boys and now more than ever women are starting to leave their mark on the gaming world. I’ve loved video games since I was a little girl. Classics like Super Mario Bros. Mortal Kombat and Donkey Kong kept me occupied when friends weren’t around and with advancements in technology I’ve fallen back in love with the art of gaming. There’s just something about entering a new world, having an objective and seeing it through that’s so satisfying. It may be silly but it’s fulfilling and there’s nothing like the rush of beating someone’s high score. When real life feels like a constant battle it’s nice to jump in a game and win a war.

It doesn’t matter if your gaming experience stops with Angry Birds and Candy Crush you can become a girl gamer and start playing with the big dogs. Trust me, your boyfriend will love it and you can piss off all those people that say girls only like shopping and fashion. I’ve put together this little guide to help you on your journey, get you prepared and with some practice maybe you’ll be the next high score I’m gunning for.

It’s Time to Play!

Know Your Stuff

You can’t jump into the gaming world without at least knowing some of the basics, trust me you’ll be eaten alive. First things first, if you don’t have one already you’ll need to invest in a gaming console, they aren’t cheap so be prepared to spend some serious cash. Xbox, PlayStation, and Nintendo U, everyone’s got their favorites and as you start to play more games you’ll find your own preference but for any serious gamer Xbox and PlayStation are the main contenders. If you don’t want to rush in and buy one don’t worry about it, I’m sure someone around you has one of the two, so take some time and try them out before you make a purchase.

If you’re a novice gamer it’s easy to assume all video games are the same, never and I mean never say that again. There are different genres of video games just like movies and once you find your niche finding new games becomes much easier. There are literally tons of different titles so instead of writing a novel length description I’ve provided a little chart below peep it:

The list could go on but when you first jump into the gaming world these are the types of games you’ll probably encounter. Don’t feel pressure to get the most popular game, find something that relates to your interests. If you don’t like gory violent stuff don’t spend 60 dollars on a war game, you’ll only hate it and give up playing. Take some time playing the single player and training options and get comfortable with the controls and interface. Nothing is more frustrating than dying because you don’t know what button to push.

Once you get into the swing of gaming you’ll start to find your favorites, you may even find you only like one game, that’s fine. Being a girl gamer doesn’t mean you have to master everything. As you become more comfortable playing you’ll want to check out the online features, they’re awesome and I encourage you to jump in, but this wouldn’t be an accurate guide if I didn’t warn you.

Prepare for the Haters and Creepers

Almost every game has an online multi-player option allowing you to connect and compete against players from all over the world. Each game has a little community, and it really is amazing, and I suggest you take advantage of it, just brace yourself. Gaming is still a male dominated world and most of that world is dominated by pre-pubescent boys that love to bash and talk shit, so don’t let that put you off. Comments like “you’re good for a girl” and “you must be a fat ugly loser” are very common. Let’s face it, men have a hard time when woman are better at anything, video games are no different. The best way to handle negative comments are to ignore them. You don’t have to play online with the headset, I leave mine off and let my playing do the talking. I mean really who gives a shit what some tween in Idaho says about your score. Eventually they’ll shut up, realize they’re not getting any attention, and fade back into basement they popped out of.

When you’re not dealing with the angry trolls you’re bound to encounter the creepers. They’ll ask for pictures, leave inappropriate messages and sometimes send pictures. Don’t ever open them, you can’t erase those images, believe me I’ve tried. Girl gamers have to deal with a lot of stereotypes, too. You’re either a monster with no friends or sitting at home in panties and fan gear just waiting for the perfect gamer guy. It’s sad but not at all surprising. As a girl gamer I suggest you treat the gaming community like any other internet tool and use caution.

Set Ego Aside

Anytime you start a new hobby you want to be the best but that doesn’t happen overnight. I’m extremely competitive with myself and if I get stuck on a level I get frustrated and tend to scream at the TV screen. When I started out I wouldn’t allow anyone to help me, everything was about the win and I didn’t want someone else to take credit. I was crazy, but you don’t have to be, so set ego and pride aside and ask for help when you need it. If your boyfriend plays have him teach you some tricks, he’ll be excited to show you what he loves and you can make a really fun date night out of it. It’s a hobby and getting into gaming should be for fun so take it or yourself too seriously. Beating yourself up for having to repeat a level is silly, I’ve never met anyone who excelled immediately. Remember everything takes time and practice be patient and before you know it you’ll be teaching one of your friends.

Keep it in Control

Once you get into a game and start excelling it can be hard to put it down. Don’t spend all your free time sitting in front of the screen, make sure you take breaks and check back in with reality. Gaming should never become an obsession and if your eyes start to turn red and burn, it’s time to put it down. I’m no different, I’ve been a girl gamer for a few years now and when I get a new game the only thing on my mind is beating it. It’s a sickness that stems from my crazy competitive nature, but I manage it. Whether you’re new or veteran girl gamer, it’s important to manage your time and set limits. You don’t want to turn into a couch potato and lose touch with the real people in your life.  Go outside, run in a field, stare at some butterflies and then come back and whoop some ass.

Now that you’ve got the basics on becoming a girl gamer it’s time to get to your local game store and pick out your new addiction. Treat yourself and indulge in some fun, who knows you might even make a career of it!

 

The post A Girl’s Guide to Gaming: The Basics on Becoming a Video Gamer appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575302377) } [2]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(39) "7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My LIfe" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/7-ways-romantic-comedies-ruined-my-life/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 15:44:27 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(46) "Holidaysfilmsfunlifestylemoviesrom comromantic" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3736" ["description"]=> string(584) "

It’s almost Xmas time and you know what that means, love is literally in the air and if there was ever a time to find love, it’s right now. I don’t necessarily put buy into the girly romantic vibe, I’m always talking about horror movies and haven’t been caught doodling hearts on my notebook, but […]

The post 7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My LIfe appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(11161) "

It’s almost Xmas time and you know what that means, love is literally in the air and if there was ever a time to find love, it’s right now. I don’t necessarily put buy into the girly romantic vibe, I’m always talking about horror movies and haven’t been caught doodling hearts on my notebook, but truth is I’m totally addicted to romantic comedies. Really, how can you blame me? As an unofficially married woman who is constantly surrounded by boys, I spend most of my time enduring marathons of bad 80’s action flicks and endless episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants. So, every now and then I have to let my ovaries take control, escape the testosterone and retreat to my room to raid my Netflix queue for all things sappy.

For 120 minutes I can laugh, cry and wait on the edge of my seat as grand gestures of love are displayed before me…then it’s back to reality. My secret rendezvous with the romantic comedies section has started to affect my life in some really unsettling ways. Romantic comedies have ruined my life, and here’s how.

7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My Life

Unrealistic Expectations

Every woman has high expectations for her man and I’m no exception, but there should still be a bit or reality in your expectations. Not too long ago I was coming home from a long trip, and over the moon excited to see my boyfriend Brett again. I stepped off the plane, made my way through the security gates and searched the crowd for my beloved. I was fully expecting to meet eyes, run through the crowd, and a jump into his arms kind of reunion. Or at the very least I wanted to see a big ass sign that read “Welcome home, Baby”, with him standing front and center. What I got instead was a text message saying “outside in 10, wait by the curb”. Can we say anti-climactic. I blame these expectations entirely on Hollywood pushing love filled declarations on me. Of course I’m going to expect a fucking sign when Noah can build Allie a fucking house from scratch and they weren’t even dating! Where the fuck is my hand built house with red door?

Ok so maybe expecting Brett to build me a house from scratch is a bit much but then romantic comedies spin me around with this one…

True Love Has To Hurt

In the land of romantic comedies love isn’t real unless both parties first go through the absolute ringer. Romeo and Juliet had their forbidden love, Noah and Allie had to wait years before reconnecting with each other and finding true happiness, but we’re all supposed to be satisfied with a simple I love you. Romantic comedies have me longing for some kind of tortured soap opera style romance and scoffing at simple upfront declarations of love. Fuck you, rom com’s, for making me think that true love has to come with torturous years apart and undelivered hand written letters. It got so bad that after being balls deep in the Twilight Saga, sweet Brett attempted to say something loving and I responded with “You’re no Edward”. What the hell was I thinking? I fully accept my asshole crown on that one.

And if that wasn’t bad enough romantic comedies ruined my life with one simple misguided theory…

ust when I think everything will be ok, rom com’s hit me with the bad boy. Romantic comedies ruined my life by fooling me into believing that all bad boys are really just smoldering misunderstood loners who recite poetry at home and really have a heart of gold. They lured me in with James Dean’s perfectly quaffed hair and I don’t give a damn attitude, hit me with a signing Johnny Depp in Cry Baby and then effectively end my life with Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. What is a young girl supposed to do but think they can save the bad boy? Meanwhile we’re stuck going from one bad boy heartache to the next, searching for the completely fictional “good” boy bad boy. The reality is that 99% of those bad boys aren’t sitting at home painting and composing great sonnets, there just assholes with nice hair and a cute smile.

After all that wasted energy on bad boys, romantic comedies reveal the real way to find love is…

Dance Class

Because we all know it’s only true love when you can run full speed at a man and he lifts you high into the air like a magical swan princess. Real love is only found when two steaming bodies meet under the extreme pressure of the end of summer dance competition. Thank you romantic comedies for running my life and destroying my already delicate bank account by encouraging me to enroll in salsa classes only to discover I can’t remember five steps, let alone an entire routine. Oh and thanks for the heads up that there are no sexy men in dance class, just a gaggle of women all hoping for the same thing. Where was my Patrick Swayze, my Antonio Banderas, shit I’d even take a John Travolta? Alas, it’s just me sporadically running at Brett, effectively crashing into him because “I’m too heavy for that shit” and he has no idea where my obsession with dance is coming from.

So I bandage my knees and my ego and then walk away but something is missing…

Sad Emotional Music

Shouldn’t every moment in my life be set to appropriately emotional music? Romantic comedies ruined my life by making me think a slow walk away with soft piano music playing makes emotion that much deeper. There should be a theme song playing for the random day that I skip down the street with a smile on my face, and certainly a dramatic string quartet to wrap up my post fight storm out. But no, the music only plays in my head and romantic comedies are to blame.

So the music doesn’t play and I have to confront another life ruining truth…

No Rain, No Romance

Of course all truly romantic moments happen when it’s pouring rain outside. Screw you romantic comedies, you ruined my life with this rain shit. Excuse me, but I live in California where we’re lucky to get one hour of drizzling rain in a year, let alone a romantic torrential downpour. Guess making out in the rain is out of the question for me. Not only am I rain deprived but what about my hair? Am I supposed to just sit there, let makeup run down my face, let my hair turn into a frizz ball and pretend that my contacts aren’t being brutalized by the bad weather? I blame bastard romantic comedies for making me think that a sun kissed stroll along the beach isn’t worthy of a passionate kiss and romantic look. No, instead I need a Seattle style rain and soggy clothes kiss to feel I’ve fulfilled the true romantic dream.

So the lack of rain isn’t that bad but then romantic comedies hit me with this doozy…

The Perfect Man

Romantic comedies ruined my life, and I’m sure yours as well, with one immaculate little import. Ryan- mother fucking- Gosling. You perfect bastard. How dare you drop this bombshell of sexy on me, forcing me to daydream about the moment our eyes meet across some small obscure bookstore and we ride off into the sunset on the back of your motorcycle. Oh and then he’s cast in one of the most heart wrenching movies of all time, forcing me to compare my boyfriend to this real life incarnation of an Ancient Greek God. That sly smile, those piercing blue eyes, and the one liner’s that will incinerate your panties in seconds…it’s just not fair. “If I’m a bird, you’re a bird”- are you kidding me? Get the fuck out of here with this shit? No one can compete with it and my boyfriend is starting to resent my unrealistic expectations.

F&ck you romantic comedies! You screw my life up with high romantic hopes and dreams of being swept away and sang to in a boat surrounded by swans. And a double screw you for making me believe that the natural way to be courted by someone is surrounded by gym classmates while some guy belts out “Your Just Too Good to Be True”.  And especially for making my poor boyfriend struggle to lift me in the air and for making Ryan Gosling the start of all my dreams.

Will I stop watching romantic comedies? No, I’ll continue to indulge and satisfy my ovarian needs. I just need to learn to accept that romantic comedies have ruined my life and I fucking love it.

The post 7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My LIfe appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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It’s almost Xmas time and you know what that means, love is literally in the air and if there was ever a time to find love, it’s right now. I don’t necessarily put buy into the girly romantic vibe, I’m always talking about horror movies and haven’t been caught doodling hearts on my notebook, but […]

The post 7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My LIfe appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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It’s almost Xmas time and you know what that means, love is literally in the air and if there was ever a time to find love, it’s right now. I don’t necessarily put buy into the girly romantic vibe, I’m always talking about horror movies and haven’t been caught doodling hearts on my notebook, but truth is I’m totally addicted to romantic comedies. Really, how can you blame me? As an unofficially married woman who is constantly surrounded by boys, I spend most of my time enduring marathons of bad 80’s action flicks and endless episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants. So, every now and then I have to let my ovaries take control, escape the testosterone and retreat to my room to raid my Netflix queue for all things sappy.

For 120 minutes I can laugh, cry and wait on the edge of my seat as grand gestures of love are displayed before me…then it’s back to reality. My secret rendezvous with the romantic comedies section has started to affect my life in some really unsettling ways. Romantic comedies have ruined my life, and here’s how.

7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My Life

Unrealistic Expectations

Every woman has high expectations for her man and I’m no exception, but there should still be a bit or reality in your expectations. Not too long ago I was coming home from a long trip, and over the moon excited to see my boyfriend Brett again. I stepped off the plane, made my way through the security gates and searched the crowd for my beloved. I was fully expecting to meet eyes, run through the crowd, and a jump into his arms kind of reunion. Or at the very least I wanted to see a big ass sign that read “Welcome home, Baby”, with him standing front and center. What I got instead was a text message saying “outside in 10, wait by the curb”. Can we say anti-climactic. I blame these expectations entirely on Hollywood pushing love filled declarations on me. Of course I’m going to expect a fucking sign when Noah can build Allie a fucking house from scratch and they weren’t even dating! Where the fuck is my hand built house with red door?

Ok so maybe expecting Brett to build me a house from scratch is a bit much but then romantic comedies spin me around with this one…

True Love Has To Hurt

In the land of romantic comedies love isn’t real unless both parties first go through the absolute ringer. Romeo and Juliet had their forbidden love, Noah and Allie had to wait years before reconnecting with each other and finding true happiness, but we’re all supposed to be satisfied with a simple I love you. Romantic comedies have me longing for some kind of tortured soap opera style romance and scoffing at simple upfront declarations of love. Fuck you, rom com’s, for making me think that true love has to come with torturous years apart and undelivered hand written letters. It got so bad that after being balls deep in the Twilight Saga, sweet Brett attempted to say something loving and I responded with “You’re no Edward”. What the hell was I thinking? I fully accept my asshole crown on that one.

And if that wasn’t bad enough romantic comedies ruined my life with one simple misguided theory…

ust when I think everything will be ok, rom com’s hit me with the bad boy. Romantic comedies ruined my life by fooling me into believing that all bad boys are really just smoldering misunderstood loners who recite poetry at home and really have a heart of gold. They lured me in with James Dean’s perfectly quaffed hair and I don’t give a damn attitude, hit me with a signing Johnny Depp in Cry Baby and then effectively end my life with Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. What is a young girl supposed to do but think they can save the bad boy? Meanwhile we’re stuck going from one bad boy heartache to the next, searching for the completely fictional “good” boy bad boy. The reality is that 99% of those bad boys aren’t sitting at home painting and composing great sonnets, there just assholes with nice hair and a cute smile.

After all that wasted energy on bad boys, romantic comedies reveal the real way to find love is…

Dance Class

Because we all know it’s only true love when you can run full speed at a man and he lifts you high into the air like a magical swan princess. Real love is only found when two steaming bodies meet under the extreme pressure of the end of summer dance competition. Thank you romantic comedies for running my life and destroying my already delicate bank account by encouraging me to enroll in salsa classes only to discover I can’t remember five steps, let alone an entire routine. Oh and thanks for the heads up that there are no sexy men in dance class, just a gaggle of women all hoping for the same thing. Where was my Patrick Swayze, my Antonio Banderas, shit I’d even take a John Travolta? Alas, it’s just me sporadically running at Brett, effectively crashing into him because “I’m too heavy for that shit” and he has no idea where my obsession with dance is coming from.

So I bandage my knees and my ego and then walk away but something is missing…

Sad Emotional Music

Shouldn’t every moment in my life be set to appropriately emotional music? Romantic comedies ruined my life by making me think a slow walk away with soft piano music playing makes emotion that much deeper. There should be a theme song playing for the random day that I skip down the street with a smile on my face, and certainly a dramatic string quartet to wrap up my post fight storm out. But no, the music only plays in my head and romantic comedies are to blame.

So the music doesn’t play and I have to confront another life ruining truth…

No Rain, No Romance

Of course all truly romantic moments happen when it’s pouring rain outside. Screw you romantic comedies, you ruined my life with this rain shit. Excuse me, but I live in California where we’re lucky to get one hour of drizzling rain in a year, let alone a romantic torrential downpour. Guess making out in the rain is out of the question for me. Not only am I rain deprived but what about my hair? Am I supposed to just sit there, let makeup run down my face, let my hair turn into a frizz ball and pretend that my contacts aren’t being brutalized by the bad weather? I blame bastard romantic comedies for making me think that a sun kissed stroll along the beach isn’t worthy of a passionate kiss and romantic look. No, instead I need a Seattle style rain and soggy clothes kiss to feel I’ve fulfilled the true romantic dream.

So the lack of rain isn’t that bad but then romantic comedies hit me with this doozy…

The Perfect Man

Romantic comedies ruined my life, and I’m sure yours as well, with one immaculate little import. Ryan- mother fucking- Gosling. You perfect bastard. How dare you drop this bombshell of sexy on me, forcing me to daydream about the moment our eyes meet across some small obscure bookstore and we ride off into the sunset on the back of your motorcycle. Oh and then he’s cast in one of the most heart wrenching movies of all time, forcing me to compare my boyfriend to this real life incarnation of an Ancient Greek God. That sly smile, those piercing blue eyes, and the one liner’s that will incinerate your panties in seconds…it’s just not fair. “If I’m a bird, you’re a bird”- are you kidding me? Get the fuck out of here with this shit? No one can compete with it and my boyfriend is starting to resent my unrealistic expectations.

F&ck you romantic comedies! You screw my life up with high romantic hopes and dreams of being swept away and sang to in a boat surrounded by swans. And a double screw you for making me believe that the natural way to be courted by someone is surrounded by gym classmates while some guy belts out “Your Just Too Good to Be True”.  And especially for making my poor boyfriend struggle to lift me in the air and for making Ryan Gosling the start of all my dreams.

Will I stop watching romantic comedies? No, I’ll continue to indulge and satisfy my ovarian needs. I just need to learn to accept that romantic comedies have ruined my life and I fucking love it.

The post 7 Ways Romantic Comedies Ruined My LIfe appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575301467) } [3]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(28) "How to Breakup with a Friend" ["link"]=> string(67) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/how-to-breakup-with-a-friend/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 15:33:22 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["category"]=> string(74) "Relationship Advicebest friendbest friend breakupbreak upbreaking upfriend" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3730" ["description"]=> string(551) "

A friendship, like any relationship, can be a lot of work. It’s not just finding someone to have a laugh and go to a random yoga class with, you have to put in the time and connect on an emotional level. Juggling different friendships means different emotions and not all of them will make the […]

The post How to Breakup with a Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7639) "

A friendship, like any relationship, can be a lot of work. It’s not just finding someone to have a laugh and go to a random yoga class with, you have to put in the time and connect on an emotional level. Juggling different friendships means different emotions and not all of them will make the cut. Sometimes even the best and longest of friendships can run their course and eventually come to an end.  While society has set clear rules for breaking up with a boyfriend or a business partner, no one ever tells you the “right” way to breakup with a friend.  So how the hell do you tell someone you once called a friend that it’s just not working out?

How to Breakup with a Friend

The New Friend

Of all the friendship breakups this, in my opinion, is the easiest. At our age, new friends are chosen based on similar adult interests. Maybe you work together, maybe you just see each other every day at the gym, hell, you might even just bump into each other at the grocery store. Regardless of the meeting place,  it’s unlikely that you two are bonded at the hip and if you are, then you might have a stage-five clinger on your hands – but that’s a topic for another article. They offer a companion for errands, become a movie partner and are great for a laugh, but sometimes things just stop feeling right and you need a way out.

How to Breakup: Since you two aren’t lifelong besties it’s ok to be brutally honest and say it’s just not working, but you have to have a reason. It will only confuse the situation if you two are fine one day and enemies the next. If you don’t like how ‎judgmental she is, tell her. If she farts when she laughs and you can’t take it, pull up those big girl panties and tell her. You may not be able to handle it anymore, but guaranteed she’s got other friends and will  be able to make more.  Help the rest of the women out in the world and talk to her.

Being honest is the key and, while the conversation may feel a little awkward at first, you’ll leave feeling good about yourself and ready to take on the next challenge.

The Pushy Friend

There are those friendships that push you to do new things. They’re awesome at first, hell, you never thought you’d go skydiving, skinny dipping in the ocean or learn a new language. Here’s the thing about pushy friends, it’s all fucking awesome until they’re calling you every god damn day to tell you about a new adventure. They can’t understand why you’d just want to chill and spend the entire day in a threesome with Ben, Jerry and Netflix. They’re on a different level and if you’re not ready and willing to meet them things will just get exhausting and you’ll find you’re coming up with reasons to cancel plans before they’re even made. It’s time to breakup with a friend and this one is going to push back, trust me.

How to Breakup: The pushy friend is usually over ambitious, hence their love for all things adventure and general zeal for doing a lot of stuff, all the time. It’s not that they’re bad people but it’s a hard fit for most people. I’m an active person, but I’m not trying to go cliff diving on a Saturday afternoon. Shit, sometimes you just want to grab a coffee. Breaking up with this friend requires an escape plan because they’re not going to get it, and they might even counter by lazy shaming you, but that’s not your problem. Here’s the trick:  you want to be honest without making them feel like you’re judging or putting down their lifestyle and attitude. Tell them it’s just not your style, keep it simple and offer to join on the next adventure, maybe a year from now.

The Old Friend

She’s been around for years, grown up with you, shared your dirty secrets and picked you up from the ex’s house in the middle of the night. You may have known each other since high-school and have plenty of history between you but still you can feel the timer running out. Breakups are not immune to old friends and in reality, the older the friendship, the harder the breakup. You’ve invested time and emotion into this friendship and there will always be a part of you that feels obligated to stay in it. As we get older, people grow apart and holding on to old relationships can be difficult. First thing you should know is its ok to feel like you’re done.

How to Breakup: This is one breakup that should be handled with extreme care. While things may seem to have come to an end now, there is no telling where the future may take you. Don’t start a screaming match and don’t become a raging bitch, ripping her apart from head to toe. Just because you’re breaking up with a friend doesn’t mean you have to become enemies. Truth be told, if you’re considering breaking up with an old friend the best thing to do is to remain in good grace. This way you don’t have to worry about any dirty secrets flying around the internet and your good name can remain intact. You can’t erase the time you’ve shared and shouldn’t try to. Accept that you are growing and changing and make her understand as well. If she can’t understand, then you two really shouldn’t be friends anymore anyway.

The cardinal rule for breaking up with a friend is learning to accept that it’s no one’s fault.  Placing blame in this situation won’t make breaking up with a friend any easier, it’s just taking the easy way out. Remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever and moving on is okay if that’s what you need to do. Each new relationship is an opportunity to learn and grow as an individual, so take what you can from each experience and walk your own badass path.

The post How to Breakup with a Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(551) "

A friendship, like any relationship, can be a lot of work. It’s not just finding someone to have a laugh and go to a random yoga class with, you have to put in the time and connect on an emotional level. Juggling different friendships means different emotions and not all of them will make the […]

The post How to Breakup with a Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7639) "

A friendship, like any relationship, can be a lot of work. It’s not just finding someone to have a laugh and go to a random yoga class with, you have to put in the time and connect on an emotional level. Juggling different friendships means different emotions and not all of them will make the cut. Sometimes even the best and longest of friendships can run their course and eventually come to an end.  While society has set clear rules for breaking up with a boyfriend or a business partner, no one ever tells you the “right” way to breakup with a friend.  So how the hell do you tell someone you once called a friend that it’s just not working out?

How to Breakup with a Friend

The New Friend

Of all the friendship breakups this, in my opinion, is the easiest. At our age, new friends are chosen based on similar adult interests. Maybe you work together, maybe you just see each other every day at the gym, hell, you might even just bump into each other at the grocery store. Regardless of the meeting place,  it’s unlikely that you two are bonded at the hip and if you are, then you might have a stage-five clinger on your hands – but that’s a topic for another article. They offer a companion for errands, become a movie partner and are great for a laugh, but sometimes things just stop feeling right and you need a way out.

How to Breakup: Since you two aren’t lifelong besties it’s ok to be brutally honest and say it’s just not working, but you have to have a reason. It will only confuse the situation if you two are fine one day and enemies the next. If you don’t like how ‎judgmental she is, tell her. If she farts when she laughs and you can’t take it, pull up those big girl panties and tell her. You may not be able to handle it anymore, but guaranteed she’s got other friends and will  be able to make more.  Help the rest of the women out in the world and talk to her.

Being honest is the key and, while the conversation may feel a little awkward at first, you’ll leave feeling good about yourself and ready to take on the next challenge.

The Pushy Friend

There are those friendships that push you to do new things. They’re awesome at first, hell, you never thought you’d go skydiving, skinny dipping in the ocean or learn a new language. Here’s the thing about pushy friends, it’s all fucking awesome until they’re calling you every god damn day to tell you about a new adventure. They can’t understand why you’d just want to chill and spend the entire day in a threesome with Ben, Jerry and Netflix. They’re on a different level and if you’re not ready and willing to meet them things will just get exhausting and you’ll find you’re coming up with reasons to cancel plans before they’re even made. It’s time to breakup with a friend and this one is going to push back, trust me.

How to Breakup: The pushy friend is usually over ambitious, hence their love for all things adventure and general zeal for doing a lot of stuff, all the time. It’s not that they’re bad people but it’s a hard fit for most people. I’m an active person, but I’m not trying to go cliff diving on a Saturday afternoon. Shit, sometimes you just want to grab a coffee. Breaking up with this friend requires an escape plan because they’re not going to get it, and they might even counter by lazy shaming you, but that’s not your problem. Here’s the trick:  you want to be honest without making them feel like you’re judging or putting down their lifestyle and attitude. Tell them it’s just not your style, keep it simple and offer to join on the next adventure, maybe a year from now.

The Old Friend

She’s been around for years, grown up with you, shared your dirty secrets and picked you up from the ex’s house in the middle of the night. You may have known each other since high-school and have plenty of history between you but still you can feel the timer running out. Breakups are not immune to old friends and in reality, the older the friendship, the harder the breakup. You’ve invested time and emotion into this friendship and there will always be a part of you that feels obligated to stay in it. As we get older, people grow apart and holding on to old relationships can be difficult. First thing you should know is its ok to feel like you’re done.

How to Breakup: This is one breakup that should be handled with extreme care. While things may seem to have come to an end now, there is no telling where the future may take you. Don’t start a screaming match and don’t become a raging bitch, ripping her apart from head to toe. Just because you’re breaking up with a friend doesn’t mean you have to become enemies. Truth be told, if you’re considering breaking up with an old friend the best thing to do is to remain in good grace. This way you don’t have to worry about any dirty secrets flying around the internet and your good name can remain intact. You can’t erase the time you’ve shared and shouldn’t try to. Accept that you are growing and changing and make her understand as well. If she can’t understand, then you two really shouldn’t be friends anymore anyway.

The cardinal rule for breaking up with a friend is learning to accept that it’s no one’s fault.  Placing blame in this situation won’t make breaking up with a friend any easier, it’s just taking the easy way out. Remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever and moving on is okay if that’s what you need to do. Each new relationship is an opportunity to learn and grow as an individual, so take what you can from each experience and walk your own badass path.

The post How to Breakup with a Friend appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575300802) } [4]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(60) "The Differences in The Way Men and Women View Exotic Dancers" ["link"]=> string(99) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/the-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-view-exotic-dancers/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 15:12:41 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(43) "Interestingdouble standardsmenopinionswomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3727" ["description"]=> string(634) "

So I know you read double standards and you’re mind automatically goes to the general boy/girl battles. But in this battle I want to shed some light on the differences between societies’ take on male and female exotic dancers. Most of the female world was absolutely rocked by Magic Mike, but while I also fell […]

The post The Differences in The Way Men and Women View Exotic Dancers appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5478) "

So I know you read double standards and you’re mind automatically goes to the general boy/girl battles. But in this battle I want to shed some light on the differences between societies’ take on male and female exotic dancers. Most of the female world was absolutely rocked by Magic Mike, but while I also fell victim to Channing Tatum’s sexy moves. The explosive response to the movie begs the question; if this were about female strippers would we all rush to see it? And would we view it as a funny, empowering, coming of age story? More likely it would be the sad story of a down on her luck woman forced to sell her body as some desperate attempt at a better life. Anyone remember a little movie called “The Player’s Club”? So let’s take a look at some of the major differences in the way we view exotic dancers.

Atmosphere

So when I hear the word male exotic dancer, I laugh. The thought of a man thrusting and sweating, dressed up, as a cowboy isn’t my idea of sexy. Personally, I haven’t been to a male strip club and aside from seeing Magic Mike I don’t plan on it. Now if Channing Tatum will be there then exceptions can be made. I do on the other hand have friends that have been with large groups and for bachelorette parties and they go and have a blast, throwing money and getting wasted.  That’s perfectly acceptable, but overall the atmosphere is totally different! Firstly it’s not a strip club it’s a male revue, it’s a fun relaxed environment, dancer’s put on classic fantasy costumes and have full stage performances. It’s an act and they happen to take off their clothes.

Now flip side… I have been to female strip clubs, I’m pretty sure that the general population would agree with me that the female form is much more alluring and sexy. But unless you enter one of the swankier options generally female strip clubs are seedy venues, with tons of poles, woman strolling the walkways looking for a lap dance and men staring like dogs in heat. Your other options are for the slightly classier venues that have center stages and a more selective group of women, but unless you can afford that option one is probably where you’ll end up.

What’s your occupation??

If you were to introduce your new girlfriend or friend for that matter to your mom and she asked, “what’s you job sweetie?” your friend having no qualms with her job would say, “Well, I’m a stripper.”… OK so we’ve got our general set up, what do you think mom’s face looks like? While there are some mother’s in the world that aren’t affected by going to strip clubs how many of those same woman would say they want their son to date or their daughter to become a stripper? I’m betting popular opinion is still no.

Now let’s say we’re in the same scenario but with a man this time… mom asks what you do? He answers oh I’m an exotic dancer. Mom most likely bursts out into laughter and then launches into conversation about how Jimmy got into the business.

Quality of work…

OK to be honest I this topic swings both ways. By all accounts women, once inside a male strip club loose all inhibitions and after a few drinks are all hands. This isn’t exactly allowed but isn’t so strictly enforced the same way it would be while inside a female club. In there its “no hands!” break that rule and you’re out. So while in a female strip club men have a strict no touching rule but for men this same rule is slightly bent because well they’re men right, they can protect themselves from a bunch of women.

Now if we talk about compensation, most would think women make more money than men, but most male clubs have one main dancer at a time, thus making the profits for their performance greater, not to mention that women will be more generous initially.

Remember female clubs generally have about 10-15 girls working a night, there’s only so many men willing to tip big and cat fights are part of the job. There’s no high fives going on the floor, those women are there to work and no one is going to get in their way!

There is no shame in this profession but we stigmatize female exotic dancers as frail and desperate woman who’ve been left with no other choice but to take off their clothes for money. Leaving them to suffer the cross of being a stripper for the rest of their days, because of course there’s no getting out of the game once you’re in. Men on the other hand are thought of as a fun loving guy with a strange job, but it’s always just a starting out part. They won’t do it forever and I mean what man wouldn’t want to have a room full of women dying to get their hands on him. Personally, I’ve got no problem with either profession, both deserve some recognition because its damn hard work dancing for 3 minutes straight. So instead of bashing and judging we should show some respect for the amount of work and patience it takes.

The post The Differences in The Way Men and Women View Exotic Dancers appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(634) "

So I know you read double standards and you’re mind automatically goes to the general boy/girl battles. But in this battle I want to shed some light on the differences between societies’ take on male and female exotic dancers. Most of the female world was absolutely rocked by Magic Mike, but while I also fell […]

The post The Differences in The Way Men and Women View Exotic Dancers appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5478) "

So I know you read double standards and you’re mind automatically goes to the general boy/girl battles. But in this battle I want to shed some light on the differences between societies’ take on male and female exotic dancers. Most of the female world was absolutely rocked by Magic Mike, but while I also fell victim to Channing Tatum’s sexy moves. The explosive response to the movie begs the question; if this were about female strippers would we all rush to see it? And would we view it as a funny, empowering, coming of age story? More likely it would be the sad story of a down on her luck woman forced to sell her body as some desperate attempt at a better life. Anyone remember a little movie called “The Player’s Club”? So let’s take a look at some of the major differences in the way we view exotic dancers.

Atmosphere

So when I hear the word male exotic dancer, I laugh. The thought of a man thrusting and sweating, dressed up, as a cowboy isn’t my idea of sexy. Personally, I haven’t been to a male strip club and aside from seeing Magic Mike I don’t plan on it. Now if Channing Tatum will be there then exceptions can be made. I do on the other hand have friends that have been with large groups and for bachelorette parties and they go and have a blast, throwing money and getting wasted.  That’s perfectly acceptable, but overall the atmosphere is totally different! Firstly it’s not a strip club it’s a male revue, it’s a fun relaxed environment, dancer’s put on classic fantasy costumes and have full stage performances. It’s an act and they happen to take off their clothes.

Now flip side… I have been to female strip clubs, I’m pretty sure that the general population would agree with me that the female form is much more alluring and sexy. But unless you enter one of the swankier options generally female strip clubs are seedy venues, with tons of poles, woman strolling the walkways looking for a lap dance and men staring like dogs in heat. Your other options are for the slightly classier venues that have center stages and a more selective group of women, but unless you can afford that option one is probably where you’ll end up.

What’s your occupation??

If you were to introduce your new girlfriend or friend for that matter to your mom and she asked, “what’s you job sweetie?” your friend having no qualms with her job would say, “Well, I’m a stripper.”… OK so we’ve got our general set up, what do you think mom’s face looks like? While there are some mother’s in the world that aren’t affected by going to strip clubs how many of those same woman would say they want their son to date or their daughter to become a stripper? I’m betting popular opinion is still no.

Now let’s say we’re in the same scenario but with a man this time… mom asks what you do? He answers oh I’m an exotic dancer. Mom most likely bursts out into laughter and then launches into conversation about how Jimmy got into the business.

Quality of work…

OK to be honest I this topic swings both ways. By all accounts women, once inside a male strip club loose all inhibitions and after a few drinks are all hands. This isn’t exactly allowed but isn’t so strictly enforced the same way it would be while inside a female club. In there its “no hands!” break that rule and you’re out. So while in a female strip club men have a strict no touching rule but for men this same rule is slightly bent because well they’re men right, they can protect themselves from a bunch of women.

Now if we talk about compensation, most would think women make more money than men, but most male clubs have one main dancer at a time, thus making the profits for their performance greater, not to mention that women will be more generous initially.

Remember female clubs generally have about 10-15 girls working a night, there’s only so many men willing to tip big and cat fights are part of the job. There’s no high fives going on the floor, those women are there to work and no one is going to get in their way!

There is no shame in this profession but we stigmatize female exotic dancers as frail and desperate woman who’ve been left with no other choice but to take off their clothes for money. Leaving them to suffer the cross of being a stripper for the rest of their days, because of course there’s no getting out of the game once you’re in. Men on the other hand are thought of as a fun loving guy with a strange job, but it’s always just a starting out part. They won’t do it forever and I mean what man wouldn’t want to have a room full of women dying to get their hands on him. Personally, I’ve got no problem with either profession, both deserve some recognition because its damn hard work dancing for 3 minutes straight. So instead of bashing and judging we should show some respect for the amount of work and patience it takes.

The post The Differences in The Way Men and Women View Exotic Dancers appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575299561) } [5]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(36) "5 Ways You’re Becoming Your Mother" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/5-ways-youre-becoming-your-mother/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 14:23:26 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(31) "Interestingattitudefunlifestyle" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3719" ["description"]=> string(583) "

Ladies, getting older is tough as we all know; eating just anything isn’t an option and the perfect night out isn’t spent clubbing into the wee hours of the morning but instead is spent cozy on the couch. We’re all badass mature women, we accept the changes willingly and adapt, but there’s one phrase that […]

The post 5 Ways You’re Becoming Your Mother appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4847) "

Ladies, getting older is tough as we all know; eating just anything isn’t an option and the perfect night out isn’t spent clubbing into the wee hours of the morning but instead is spent cozy on the couch. We’re all badass mature women, we accept the changes willingly and adapt, but there’s one phrase that strikes fear into any woman’s heart; “you’re turning into your mother”. It’s an unexplainable feeling, a combination of pride and fear because it’s not that we don’t love our moms but we’re not quite ready to take on that mantle just yet. It’s an inevitability that one day we’ll all become our mothers but before you settle into that bathrobe here are 5 ways to know you’re turning into your mother.

Shit’s About to Get Real

It’s such a great deal!

Everyone loves a deal but if you find yourself wandering into TJMaxx to check out the prices of the sheet sets, not because you need them but just to see; you’re turning into your mother. Coupons are now essential on your trip to the store and you will buy off brand even if it’s only twenty cents cheaper.  Taking a trip to the mall isn’t an all day excursion anymore. You treat it like a black ops mission and find that sale item and get out of there before you can be lured into spending anymore.  Your mother would be proud but your teenage self is pouting in the corner.

I’ve got just the thing for that!

Remember when you could carry a clutch around and have everything you needed? Cellphone, chapstick and keys were the essentials. Well, if your purse now resembles Mary Poppins bag you’re turning into your mother.  At some point everything changes and instead of just having what we know we’ll need we carry everything anyone could ever need.  If your friend slices open her finger it’s no problem; you’ve got Band-Aids and Neosporin ready. Moms carry everything and if you find yourself fishing at the bottom of your bag and acting as savior for life’s random acts the you’re becoming your mother.

Wait what was I doing?

Do you find yourself standing in a room and blankly staring at the floor? Perhaps the most crucial sign you’re turning into your mother is when you get in a room and forget why you’re there. Some may call it age but personally I like to think I’m so busy and my mind is so full that little things just slip out. Either way you slice it, we’ve all witnessed our mother’s frustration and possible slew of curse words regarding this exact scenario.  When you find yourself staring at the bathroom cabinet just accept it; you’re turning into your mother.

The Look

Have you ever noticed how your mom can quiet a room, shut down an inappropriate conversation and end any crazy idea your dad has come up with, all without saying a word. Every mom has that one facial expression that convey’s total and complete disapproval, frustration, anger; really it’s every emotion rolled into one. “The Look” without any effort at all can make you feel like a two year old again.  Without being aware, this little trait will pop out and surprise your boyfriend, best friend and sometimes your boss. Take a long deep look in the mirror ladies, if you find the look, you’re becoming your mother.

The Mom Phrase

Whether you have children of your own or not, as we get older our vocabulary starts to change. Nothing sneaks up on you more than the classic mom phrases. Any of these sound familiar? “Am I talking to a brick wall?”, “Do I look like a maid?”, “Don’t you have anything better to do?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?”, “If I want your opinion I’ll ask for it!” and my personal favorite “I’m going to give you until the count of three… 1.. 2.. 2 and a half… 2 and three quarters” the list goes on and on. If you find that any of these sound familiar, it’s ok, you’re turning into your mother.

So ladies, any of these sound familiar? If they do then you probably are turning into your mother but that’s ok. Let’s face it, we may fight, scream and get utterly annoyed with them sometimes but at the end of the day turning into your mother is awesome. So when you find yourself giving the store clerk the look and asking your boyfriend why his socks are all over the floor, smile and remember your mom, because you’re turning into her.

The post 5 Ways You’re Becoming Your Mother appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(583) "

Ladies, getting older is tough as we all know; eating just anything isn’t an option and the perfect night out isn’t spent clubbing into the wee hours of the morning but instead is spent cozy on the couch. We’re all badass mature women, we accept the changes willingly and adapt, but there’s one phrase that […]

The post 5 Ways You’re Becoming Your Mother appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4847) "

Ladies, getting older is tough as we all know; eating just anything isn’t an option and the perfect night out isn’t spent clubbing into the wee hours of the morning but instead is spent cozy on the couch. We’re all badass mature women, we accept the changes willingly and adapt, but there’s one phrase that strikes fear into any woman’s heart; “you’re turning into your mother”. It’s an unexplainable feeling, a combination of pride and fear because it’s not that we don’t love our moms but we’re not quite ready to take on that mantle just yet. It’s an inevitability that one day we’ll all become our mothers but before you settle into that bathrobe here are 5 ways to know you’re turning into your mother.

Shit’s About to Get Real

It’s such a great deal!

Everyone loves a deal but if you find yourself wandering into TJMaxx to check out the prices of the sheet sets, not because you need them but just to see; you’re turning into your mother. Coupons are now essential on your trip to the store and you will buy off brand even if it’s only twenty cents cheaper.  Taking a trip to the mall isn’t an all day excursion anymore. You treat it like a black ops mission and find that sale item and get out of there before you can be lured into spending anymore.  Your mother would be proud but your teenage self is pouting in the corner.

I’ve got just the thing for that!

Remember when you could carry a clutch around and have everything you needed? Cellphone, chapstick and keys were the essentials. Well, if your purse now resembles Mary Poppins bag you’re turning into your mother.  At some point everything changes and instead of just having what we know we’ll need we carry everything anyone could ever need.  If your friend slices open her finger it’s no problem; you’ve got Band-Aids and Neosporin ready. Moms carry everything and if you find yourself fishing at the bottom of your bag and acting as savior for life’s random acts the you’re becoming your mother.

Wait what was I doing?

Do you find yourself standing in a room and blankly staring at the floor? Perhaps the most crucial sign you’re turning into your mother is when you get in a room and forget why you’re there. Some may call it age but personally I like to think I’m so busy and my mind is so full that little things just slip out. Either way you slice it, we’ve all witnessed our mother’s frustration and possible slew of curse words regarding this exact scenario.  When you find yourself staring at the bathroom cabinet just accept it; you’re turning into your mother.

The Look

Have you ever noticed how your mom can quiet a room, shut down an inappropriate conversation and end any crazy idea your dad has come up with, all without saying a word. Every mom has that one facial expression that convey’s total and complete disapproval, frustration, anger; really it’s every emotion rolled into one. “The Look” without any effort at all can make you feel like a two year old again.  Without being aware, this little trait will pop out and surprise your boyfriend, best friend and sometimes your boss. Take a long deep look in the mirror ladies, if you find the look, you’re becoming your mother.

The Mom Phrase

Whether you have children of your own or not, as we get older our vocabulary starts to change. Nothing sneaks up on you more than the classic mom phrases. Any of these sound familiar? “Am I talking to a brick wall?”, “Do I look like a maid?”, “Don’t you have anything better to do?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?”, “If I want your opinion I’ll ask for it!” and my personal favorite “I’m going to give you until the count of three… 1.. 2.. 2 and a half… 2 and three quarters” the list goes on and on. If you find that any of these sound familiar, it’s ok, you’re turning into your mother.

So ladies, any of these sound familiar? If they do then you probably are turning into your mother but that’s ok. Let’s face it, we may fight, scream and get utterly annoyed with them sometimes but at the end of the day turning into your mother is awesome. So when you find yourself giving the store clerk the look and asking your boyfriend why his socks are all over the floor, smile and remember your mom, because you’re turning into her.

The post 5 Ways You’re Becoming Your Mother appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575296606) } [6]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(31) "8 Reasons Social Media is Awful" ["link"]=> string(70) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/8-reasons-social-media-is-awful/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 14:16:26 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(66) "Dating Advicefacebookfbinstagramsocial mediasocial networkstwitter" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3716" ["description"]=> string(576) "

Social media platforms are some of the greatest inventions of our generation and we love us some social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram; you’ve got a million different ways to share your life and connect with friends. Think about it, ten years ago if you wanted to talk to a friend to catch […]

The post 8 Reasons Social Media is Awful appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6155) "

Social media platforms are some of the greatest inventions of our generation and we love us some social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram; you’ve got a million different ways to share your life and connect with friends. Think about it, ten years ago if you wanted to talk to a friend to catch up you actually had to use the art of conversation and speech. I know, what a weird concept! In many ways social media has made our lives easier, how else could you force people to view 500 pictures of your cat? We’re connected all day everyday, and we all have our pet peeves about it so here are my 8 reasons social media is awful.

Everybody’s a Superstar

I get that social media offers an opportunity to reach millions of people around the world but it’s also given everybody and their mamma a platform for their rise to fame. Every time I turn around somebody’s dropping their latest album, pushing their handmade jewelry, or flooding my news feed with pictures from their latest party. Look under occupation and everyone is a model, rapper or Dj, please don’t tell me about your “upcoming photo-shoot” when really it’s just your grandma taking pictures of you in the backyard. I’m all for furthering your dreams but don’t flood my news feed with your bullshit. Spend more time on your craft than you do your status updates and then we can talk.

The Death of the English Language

First it was the 140-character restriction on twitter now it’s just an all out war on the English language. Look, I get it you don’t want to write a novel length update (I don’t want to read it anyway) but when did it become socially acceptable to speak in shorten acronyms in real life. If I’m standing across from you and instead of actually laughing you just say “LOL”, I’ll slap you. If that wasn’t bad enough now acronyms are too long and emoticons have taken their place, was it necessary to send me a paragraph of emoticons? Do I look like Indiana Jones? I’m not trying to spend thirty minutes deciphering these hieroglyphs.

The New Cool Kids

Just when you thought you were out of high school here comes social media to shit on your parade. Social media sites opened the door for a whole new cool kids table, now everybody bases their worth on how many friends they have. Not that they’re actual friends that you talk to, you know about personal stuff, just any old friend request will do. I actually overheard a twenty something girl bitching because her sister had more Instagram followers than her. Who gives a shit? It’s not like you’re posting the answers to the secrets of life.

Over Sharing

Let me make this perfectly clear, unless you’re a food critic and are dining on the finest cuisine available I don’t care what you had for lunch. I don’t care that you just checked in at the gas station, and I don’t care that you just stubbed your toe. Social media gave us a voice, but some people don’t know when to shut up. Updating your status every minute with whatever vapid thought popped into your head is insane and forces people like me to spend hours scrolling. Save the updates for actual news, information and important life updates.

The “Like” Button

I don’t know why among the thousands of Facebook updates we’ve endured they haven’t changed the “like” button. That’s the only option, either I like it or it doesn’t exist. Great! So now I get to deal with people that “like” the most inappropriate things. Why the hell did you “like” my post about my dying grandmother? Did you stop and think “hmmm, I could write words of comfort and condolence but I’m too busy so I’ll just like it.” Stop abusing the like button and take a second to read what you “like”.

Stalking

Social media has literally made a horrible crime so much easier. Ever had a morning when you wake up and every photo from the last month has been “liked” or commented on? You’ve just been stalked. But you’re one of the lucky ones, most of the time you won’t even know about your stalker. We update everything; where we are, what we’re wearing, how we feel, the life of a social media stalker is easy. Girls and guys alike spend hours trolling your page soaking up every detail of your day and guess what? It’s your fault for making it available.

Unnecessary Tags

“Jane Smith has just tagged you in a photo” oh, awesome let’s take a look…wait this is a flyer. There’s nothing more annoying than getting tagged in something that has nothing to do with you. If I’m not in the photo, taking the photo, a part of the conversation, or the host of the event; don’t tag me. If you want my attention, find a better way of getting it.

But I Need It

The absolute worst thing about social media is how much we need it. Beyond just updating friends and family, social media is essential in the modern business world. If someone doesn’t have any social media presence the first thing I think is, ‘what’s wrong with you?” It’s a whole new addiction, most people can’t go a day without checking one of their accounts and it’s not going anywhere.

It would be nice to say one day we’ll go back to a time of handwritten letters and dinner dates, but who are we kidding? Love it or hate it social media is here to stay. We’ll put up with all the updates, advertisements, and stupid status updates until the next big thing arrives.

 

The post 8 Reasons Social Media is Awful appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(576) "

Social media platforms are some of the greatest inventions of our generation and we love us some social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram; you’ve got a million different ways to share your life and connect with friends. Think about it, ten years ago if you wanted to talk to a friend to catch […]

The post 8 Reasons Social Media is Awful appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6155) "

Social media platforms are some of the greatest inventions of our generation and we love us some social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram; you’ve got a million different ways to share your life and connect with friends. Think about it, ten years ago if you wanted to talk to a friend to catch up you actually had to use the art of conversation and speech. I know, what a weird concept! In many ways social media has made our lives easier, how else could you force people to view 500 pictures of your cat? We’re connected all day everyday, and we all have our pet peeves about it so here are my 8 reasons social media is awful.

Everybody’s a Superstar

I get that social media offers an opportunity to reach millions of people around the world but it’s also given everybody and their mamma a platform for their rise to fame. Every time I turn around somebody’s dropping their latest album, pushing their handmade jewelry, or flooding my news feed with pictures from their latest party. Look under occupation and everyone is a model, rapper or Dj, please don’t tell me about your “upcoming photo-shoot” when really it’s just your grandma taking pictures of you in the backyard. I’m all for furthering your dreams but don’t flood my news feed with your bullshit. Spend more time on your craft than you do your status updates and then we can talk.

The Death of the English Language

First it was the 140-character restriction on twitter now it’s just an all out war on the English language. Look, I get it you don’t want to write a novel length update (I don’t want to read it anyway) but when did it become socially acceptable to speak in shorten acronyms in real life. If I’m standing across from you and instead of actually laughing you just say “LOL”, I’ll slap you. If that wasn’t bad enough now acronyms are too long and emoticons have taken their place, was it necessary to send me a paragraph of emoticons? Do I look like Indiana Jones? I’m not trying to spend thirty minutes deciphering these hieroglyphs.

The New Cool Kids

Just when you thought you were out of high school here comes social media to shit on your parade. Social media sites opened the door for a whole new cool kids table, now everybody bases their worth on how many friends they have. Not that they’re actual friends that you talk to, you know about personal stuff, just any old friend request will do. I actually overheard a twenty something girl bitching because her sister had more Instagram followers than her. Who gives a shit? It’s not like you’re posting the answers to the secrets of life.

Over Sharing

Let me make this perfectly clear, unless you’re a food critic and are dining on the finest cuisine available I don’t care what you had for lunch. I don’t care that you just checked in at the gas station, and I don’t care that you just stubbed your toe. Social media gave us a voice, but some people don’t know when to shut up. Updating your status every minute with whatever vapid thought popped into your head is insane and forces people like me to spend hours scrolling. Save the updates for actual news, information and important life updates.

The “Like” Button

I don’t know why among the thousands of Facebook updates we’ve endured they haven’t changed the “like” button. That’s the only option, either I like it or it doesn’t exist. Great! So now I get to deal with people that “like” the most inappropriate things. Why the hell did you “like” my post about my dying grandmother? Did you stop and think “hmmm, I could write words of comfort and condolence but I’m too busy so I’ll just like it.” Stop abusing the like button and take a second to read what you “like”.

Stalking

Social media has literally made a horrible crime so much easier. Ever had a morning when you wake up and every photo from the last month has been “liked” or commented on? You’ve just been stalked. But you’re one of the lucky ones, most of the time you won’t even know about your stalker. We update everything; where we are, what we’re wearing, how we feel, the life of a social media stalker is easy. Girls and guys alike spend hours trolling your page soaking up every detail of your day and guess what? It’s your fault for making it available.

Unnecessary Tags

“Jane Smith has just tagged you in a photo” oh, awesome let’s take a look…wait this is a flyer. There’s nothing more annoying than getting tagged in something that has nothing to do with you. If I’m not in the photo, taking the photo, a part of the conversation, or the host of the event; don’t tag me. If you want my attention, find a better way of getting it.

But I Need It

The absolute worst thing about social media is how much we need it. Beyond just updating friends and family, social media is essential in the modern business world. If someone doesn’t have any social media presence the first thing I think is, ‘what’s wrong with you?” It’s a whole new addiction, most people can’t go a day without checking one of their accounts and it’s not going anywhere.

It would be nice to say one day we’ll go back to a time of handwritten letters and dinner dates, but who are we kidding? Love it or hate it social media is here to stay. We’ll put up with all the updates, advertisements, and stupid status updates until the next big thing arrives.

 

The post 8 Reasons Social Media is Awful appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575296186) } [7]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(8) "Clueless" ["link"]=> string(47) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/clueless/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 13:54:31 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["category"]=> string(49) "Relationship Adviceadvicemanmenrelationshipswomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3713" ["description"]=> string(522) "

Being a man, there are tons of dating options for me out there.  Let’s be honest: there are more “good” women than there are “good” men.  With all of that said, can someone tell me why it is so hard for a “good” woman to recognize a “good” man? I read people.  I’ve done it since I […]

The post Clueless appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4322) "

Being a man, there are tons of dating options for me out there.  Let’s be honest: there are more “good” women than there are “good” men.  With all of that said, can someone tell me why it is so hard for a “good” woman to recognize a “good” man?

I read people.  I’ve done it since I was a child.  I watch people and their actions to learn more about them.  We’ve always heard that experience is a good teacher, but who says that it has to be your experience that’s the teacher?  Can’t you benefit from the people around you and pay attention to their situations/mistakes?

In my life, I’ve watched so many women with potential to be “wife material” make some of the worst choices in men that one could imagine.  I’m not talking about the woman who dates a “bad boy” simply because she wants someone who will “blow her back out” in bed.  I’m talking about the woman, who has so much to offer, that gives some known-loser 100% of her efforts.

Since I’ve regained single status, my phone has been ringing.  It surprised me at how much it has and I’m actually flattered by it.  Some of the women who have called, I’ve not spoken to in quite some time.  Each of them has a different dating background in which I’ve seen unfold over the years.  The disadvantage a lot of these ladies have is that while I was unavailable to date (dating/married), I was deemed “safe” and “a friend.”  So, they confided in me a lot of things about their current or past relationships.  Most of them left me shaking my head.

How could someone be so clueless?  How could someone be such a glutton for punishment?  I’ve listened to quite a few women in my life complain to me about their men.  The only thing that goes through my mind is: “what in the world did you see in him the first place?”

You knew that he had kids that he doesn’t take care of properly. You knew that he was a cheater (because he may have even cheated with you). You knew that he’d rather play Xbox than be employed. You knew that he doesn’t have a car or has always borrowed money. I don’t get it!

So, why is it so difficult or people to use their brains when making dating decisions? I mean, the only reason these bad guys exist is because ladies keep feeding them!  Why should men change when what they’re doing works for them? They can get a nice lady without having to reciprocate!

Does a person’s dating track record determine if they’re dating material? Should a person use someone’s history to determine if they’re worth the time?  If so, how recent could that history of bad decision making be?

I’ve seen quite a few ladies come out of bad relationships stronger than ever.  At some point, they made up their mind to never be in that position again.  I respect that 100%.  A light does need to come on in your mind at some point that lets you know that you can do better than this!  You can set your standards high and maintain them as you go throughout your days of being single.  What’s more important: not being alone or being happy?

Yeah, you may have to wait until Mr. Right comes along before you can claim your prize.  In the meantime, your friend-girls, who couldn’t wait, will be married and divorced by the time you set eyes on The Man.  It’s fine to be the bridesmaid before actually being a bride.

Ladies, referring to some of you as “clueless” may come off harsher than my intent. I’m not referring to one-time victims here. Everyone gets fooled now and then.  However, if it happens once, then you’re a victim. If it happens to you twice, then you’re a volunteer.  If it happens to you three or more times, then you are just clueless.

The post Clueless appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(522) "

Being a man, there are tons of dating options for me out there.  Let’s be honest: there are more “good” women than there are “good” men.  With all of that said, can someone tell me why it is so hard for a “good” woman to recognize a “good” man? I read people.  I’ve done it since I […]

The post Clueless appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4322) "

Being a man, there are tons of dating options for me out there.  Let’s be honest: there are more “good” women than there are “good” men.  With all of that said, can someone tell me why it is so hard for a “good” woman to recognize a “good” man?

I read people.  I’ve done it since I was a child.  I watch people and their actions to learn more about them.  We’ve always heard that experience is a good teacher, but who says that it has to be your experience that’s the teacher?  Can’t you benefit from the people around you and pay attention to their situations/mistakes?

In my life, I’ve watched so many women with potential to be “wife material” make some of the worst choices in men that one could imagine.  I’m not talking about the woman who dates a “bad boy” simply because she wants someone who will “blow her back out” in bed.  I’m talking about the woman, who has so much to offer, that gives some known-loser 100% of her efforts.

Since I’ve regained single status, my phone has been ringing.  It surprised me at how much it has and I’m actually flattered by it.  Some of the women who have called, I’ve not spoken to in quite some time.  Each of them has a different dating background in which I’ve seen unfold over the years.  The disadvantage a lot of these ladies have is that while I was unavailable to date (dating/married), I was deemed “safe” and “a friend.”  So, they confided in me a lot of things about their current or past relationships.  Most of them left me shaking my head.

How could someone be so clueless?  How could someone be such a glutton for punishment?  I’ve listened to quite a few women in my life complain to me about their men.  The only thing that goes through my mind is: “what in the world did you see in him the first place?”

You knew that he had kids that he doesn’t take care of properly. You knew that he was a cheater (because he may have even cheated with you). You knew that he’d rather play Xbox than be employed. You knew that he doesn’t have a car or has always borrowed money. I don’t get it!

So, why is it so difficult or people to use their brains when making dating decisions? I mean, the only reason these bad guys exist is because ladies keep feeding them!  Why should men change when what they’re doing works for them? They can get a nice lady without having to reciprocate!

Does a person’s dating track record determine if they’re dating material? Should a person use someone’s history to determine if they’re worth the time?  If so, how recent could that history of bad decision making be?

I’ve seen quite a few ladies come out of bad relationships stronger than ever.  At some point, they made up their mind to never be in that position again.  I respect that 100%.  A light does need to come on in your mind at some point that lets you know that you can do better than this!  You can set your standards high and maintain them as you go throughout your days of being single.  What’s more important: not being alone or being happy?

Yeah, you may have to wait until Mr. Right comes along before you can claim your prize.  In the meantime, your friend-girls, who couldn’t wait, will be married and divorced by the time you set eyes on The Man.  It’s fine to be the bridesmaid before actually being a bride.

Ladies, referring to some of you as “clueless” may come off harsher than my intent. I’m not referring to one-time victims here. Everyone gets fooled now and then.  However, if it happens once, then you’re a victim. If it happens to you twice, then you’re a volunteer.  If it happens to you three or more times, then you are just clueless.

The post Clueless appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575294871) } [8]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(46) "Rule of Thumb For Men: Don’t Lie To a Woman." ["link"]=> string(80) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/rule-of-thumb-for-men-dont-lie-to-a-woman/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 13:47:03 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(52) "Relationship Advicedatinglieslyingrelationshipswomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3710" ["description"]=> string(583) "

Men lie.  We shouldn’t do it, but it’s in us to lie (or sugarcoat the truth).  We lie to women because we ultimately want to have sex with them.  Some may think that we lie to women to prevent them from being mad at us for something, but that’s only partially true.  We don’t want […]

The post Rule of Thumb For Men: Don’t Lie To a Woman. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Men lie.  We shouldn’t do it, but it’s in us to lie (or sugarcoat the truth).  We lie to women because we ultimately want to have sex with them.  Some may think that we lie to women to prevent them from being mad at us for something, but that’s only partially true.  We don’t want women to get mad at us because if they do, then they won’t have sex with us.  So, it’s still mostly about sex.

You see, from an early age, guys are taught how to “sweet talk” a lady.  Older men teach younger men the “art of courting” or what is known in today’s world in some areas as “spitting game.”  You are taught to tell a woman what you think that she wants to hear until you’re both thinking the same thing.  It’s worked since the dawn of time.  I’m sure cavemen lied to their women…

Fred: “Oh, Wilma.  I would never club Betty in the head and drag her home by the hair.  You’re the only one for me.  You’re the only one I’ll drag back to my man cave.”

Wilma: “Oh, Fred!  I love you!  I knew that you would never cheat on me!

What if Fred were honest about his relationship with Betty?  What would have happened then?

Fred:” Wilma, I really like you, but I’m just not ready to settle down yet.  I still have feelings for Betty and want to see where things take us.”

Wilma: “Well, maybe we can invite Betty over and have the best of both worlds if it makes you happy, Fred.” #Bedrock #Winning

Okay, I’ll be honest: that’s probably not happening. Fred, Wilma and Betty probably aren’t hooking up into some prehistoric threesome. However, you’ll never know if you’re not completely honest. There’s no need to lie to a woman and tell her that you love her or that you’re being faithful to her just for sex. These days, sex may be the only reason she even gave you her number in the first place!

Stop thinking that all women are some fragile element that needs to be told what you think they need to hear. Today’s woman is resilient and a go-getter. She may be playing you instead of you playing her. Women are capable of having a physical, no-strings attached relationships just as well as men. You lying to her may be completely unnecessary because all she sees in you is a hot lay and a six pack of Natty Ice anyway. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let her know where you honestly stand.  You may be surprised at how many women will still want to hang out with you even if you tell them that you don’t want a girlfriend, already have a girlfriend or whatever the case may be. Sure, she may not always be ready for the truth, because it does hurt.  But, it’s much better than learning the truth after hearing a lie first.

And if she doesn’t like the truth, then that’s fine, too. Let her go on with her life so that she can find what she really wants. Don’t impede her progress in life simply because you have a hard-on. Just move on to the next woman and hope that she’s okay with the type of arrangement that you may be seeking at the time

Oh, wait a sec… Let me throw this disclaimer out to the men who may take what I type literally: this doesn’t mean tell your woman that an outfit makes her look fat, her cooking is bad or that your last girlfriend was better in bed.  When I say “don’t lie,” I’m not saying to be mean or insensitive.  I’m saying that when it comes down to being committed in a relationship, that you owe it to a woman to tell her the truth about how you feel.  It may not be popular, but she will get over you acting like a man and telling her upfront than finding out later on that you were dishonest with her.

Because if you waste a woman’s time, then she may be a little pissed at you. But, if you waste a woman’s time and break her heart… then you may get your car vandalized and wind up in the lyrics of an Adele song.  I’m just saying.

The post Rule of Thumb For Men: Don’t Lie To a Woman. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(583) "

Men lie.  We shouldn’t do it, but it’s in us to lie (or sugarcoat the truth).  We lie to women because we ultimately want to have sex with them.  Some may think that we lie to women to prevent them from being mad at us for something, but that’s only partially true.  We don’t want […]

The post Rule of Thumb For Men: Don’t Lie To a Woman. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4349) "

Men lie.  We shouldn’t do it, but it’s in us to lie (or sugarcoat the truth).  We lie to women because we ultimately want to have sex with them.  Some may think that we lie to women to prevent them from being mad at us for something, but that’s only partially true.  We don’t want women to get mad at us because if they do, then they won’t have sex with us.  So, it’s still mostly about sex.

You see, from an early age, guys are taught how to “sweet talk” a lady.  Older men teach younger men the “art of courting” or what is known in today’s world in some areas as “spitting game.”  You are taught to tell a woman what you think that she wants to hear until you’re both thinking the same thing.  It’s worked since the dawn of time.  I’m sure cavemen lied to their women…

Fred: “Oh, Wilma.  I would never club Betty in the head and drag her home by the hair.  You’re the only one for me.  You’re the only one I’ll drag back to my man cave.”

Wilma: “Oh, Fred!  I love you!  I knew that you would never cheat on me!

What if Fred were honest about his relationship with Betty?  What would have happened then?

Fred:” Wilma, I really like you, but I’m just not ready to settle down yet.  I still have feelings for Betty and want to see where things take us.”

Wilma: “Well, maybe we can invite Betty over and have the best of both worlds if it makes you happy, Fred.” #Bedrock #Winning

Okay, I’ll be honest: that’s probably not happening. Fred, Wilma and Betty probably aren’t hooking up into some prehistoric threesome. However, you’ll never know if you’re not completely honest. There’s no need to lie to a woman and tell her that you love her or that you’re being faithful to her just for sex. These days, sex may be the only reason she even gave you her number in the first place!

Stop thinking that all women are some fragile element that needs to be told what you think they need to hear. Today’s woman is resilient and a go-getter. She may be playing you instead of you playing her. Women are capable of having a physical, no-strings attached relationships just as well as men. You lying to her may be completely unnecessary because all she sees in you is a hot lay and a six pack of Natty Ice anyway. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let her know where you honestly stand.  You may be surprised at how many women will still want to hang out with you even if you tell them that you don’t want a girlfriend, already have a girlfriend or whatever the case may be. Sure, she may not always be ready for the truth, because it does hurt.  But, it’s much better than learning the truth after hearing a lie first.

And if she doesn’t like the truth, then that’s fine, too. Let her go on with her life so that she can find what she really wants. Don’t impede her progress in life simply because you have a hard-on. Just move on to the next woman and hope that she’s okay with the type of arrangement that you may be seeking at the time

Oh, wait a sec… Let me throw this disclaimer out to the men who may take what I type literally: this doesn’t mean tell your woman that an outfit makes her look fat, her cooking is bad or that your last girlfriend was better in bed.  When I say “don’t lie,” I’m not saying to be mean or insensitive.  I’m saying that when it comes down to being committed in a relationship, that you owe it to a woman to tell her the truth about how you feel.  It may not be popular, but she will get over you acting like a man and telling her upfront than finding out later on that you were dishonest with her.

Because if you waste a woman’s time, then she may be a little pissed at you. But, if you waste a woman’s time and break her heart… then you may get your car vandalized and wind up in the lyrics of an Adele song.  I’m just saying.

The post Rule of Thumb For Men: Don’t Lie To a Woman. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1575294423) } [9]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(15) "Know Your Worth" ["link"]=> string(54) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/12/02/know-your-worth/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 02 Dec 2019 13:41:29 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["category"]=> string(56) "Relationship AdviceAdvice for Guysdatingmenrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3707" ["description"]=> string(550) "

So many times, we guys have been compared to dogs.  I get that.  A dog sticks it in and walks away afterwards without any emotional attachment whatsoever.  I don’t think the comparison is always fair when women generalize us, but we do have some similarities to our “best friend.”  Like dogs, men like to chase […]

The post Know Your Worth appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3284) "

So many times, we guys have been compared to dogs.  I get that.  A dog sticks it in and walks away afterwards without any emotional attachment whatsoever.  I don’t think the comparison is always fair when women generalize us, but we do have some similarities to our “best friend.”  Like dogs, men like to chase things, too.

Most real guys are what we call “chasers.”  We see something that we want or need and we go after it. Some may trace the behavior back to the days of the caveman being the hunter. However, where it originated isn’t my point. The question I want to ask the guys are: what are you chasing?

Are you that dog chasing every bicycle that you see or are you saving your energy to run after a Ferrari?

I think that we men sell ourselves short a lot of times. We approach women not realizing that they need us just as much as we need them. Because of that, it’s not uncommon to see a great guy with a woman who is unworthy. That’s why my message to guys is: it is important for a you to know your worth.

I’m a newly-single guy (legally, but not emotionally).  I recently lost my wife of 10 years to a long battle with breast cancer.  I know that I will eventually take my wedding ring off and get back into the world of companionship. However, one thing that I refuse to do once that time arrives is chase random bicycles. I am confident of this because I know my worth.

That isn’t based on how much money I have in the bank or how many cars I own. It has nothing to do with how much I can bench press or the style of my wardrobe.  It’s based on what I think of myself after doing an honest self-evaluation. What I lack in height, I more than make up for in character. I know that I’m nowhere near having abs of steel, but I have an unbreakable loyalty. I know what I have to offer a potential mate as a total package and I will only date someone who is equal or better than my worth.  I refuse to ever settle for less than what I can give.  And neither should you!  But, you have to know what you’re working with in order to prevent selling yourself short.

A man should never approach a woman without knowing his value. Would you go to a poker table in Vegas without knowing how much is in your wallet? Absolutely not. You would know how much you could spend so that you could place your bets accordingly.

It’s the same with dating. Don’t think that the woman holds all of the cards. Approach the one you desire with confidence! She may be the ultimate decision-maker when it comes to how things progress, but that decision will be easy for her to make if she feels as if she’s missing out on something by walking away.

Guys, honestly appraise yourself and determine what class of woman you qualify for in dating.  You don’t have to settle for the first thing in heels if you have your stuff together.  If you focus on honesty and responsibility, then there aren’t too many women (worthwhile) who are off-limits to you.adviadvi

The post Know Your Worth appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(550) "

So many times, we guys have been compared to dogs.  I get that.  A dog sticks it in and walks away afterwards without any emotional attachment whatsoever.  I don’t think the comparison is always fair when women generalize us, but we do have some similarities to our “best friend.”  Like dogs, men like to chase […]

The post Know Your Worth appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3284) "

So many times, we guys have been compared to dogs.  I get that.  A dog sticks it in and walks away afterwards without any emotional attachment whatsoever.  I don’t think the comparison is always fair when women generalize us, but we do have some similarities to our “best friend.”  Like dogs, men like to chase things, too.

Most real guys are what we call “chasers.”  We see something that we want or need and we go after it. Some may trace the behavior back to the days of the caveman being the hunter. However, where it originated isn’t my point. The question I want to ask the guys are: what are you chasing?

Are you that dog chasing every bicycle that you see or are you saving your energy to run after a Ferrari?

I think that we men sell ourselves short a lot of times. We approach women not realizing that they need us just as much as we need them. Because of that, it’s not uncommon to see a great guy with a woman who is unworthy. That’s why my message to guys is: it is important for a you to know your worth.

I’m a newly-single guy (legally, but not emotionally).  I recently lost my wife of 10 years to a long battle with breast cancer.  I know that I will eventually take my wedding ring off and get back into the world of companionship. However, one thing that I refuse to do once that time arrives is chase random bicycles. I am confident of this because I know my worth.

That isn’t based on how much money I have in the bank or how many cars I own. It has nothing to do with how much I can bench press or the style of my wardrobe.  It’s based on what I think of myself after doing an honest self-evaluation. What I lack in height, I more than make up for in character. I know that I’m nowhere near having abs of steel, but I have an unbreakable loyalty. I know what I have to offer a potential mate as a total package and I will only date someone who is equal or better than my worth.  I refuse to ever settle for less than what I can give.  And neither should you!  But, you have to know what you’re working with in order to prevent selling yourself short.

A man should never approach a woman without knowing his value. Would you go to a poker table in Vegas without knowing how much is in your wallet? Absolutely not. You would know how much you could spend so that you could place your bets accordingly.

It’s the same with dating. Don’t think that the woman holds all of the cards. Approach the one you desire with confidence! She may be the ultimate decision-maker when it comes to how things progress, but that decision will be easy for her to make if she feels as if she’s missing out on something by walking away.

Guys, honestly appraise yourself and determine what class of woman you qualify for in dating.  You don’t have to settle for the first thing in heels if you have your stuff together.  If you focus on honesty and responsibility, then there aren’t too many women (worthwhile) who are off-limits to you.adviadvi

The post Know Your Worth appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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